i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
