It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
this boner is exhausting
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
