He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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