My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
