their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
