I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
