I swear she didn't look like that last week.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
