Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
