Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
