absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
