Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
