hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
