you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
