Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
