dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I puked a lego.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
