ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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