Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
