considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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