nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
