so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
