5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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