Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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