You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
