chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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