She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
