I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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