You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
