If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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