batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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