So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
