You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
