ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She's the barista slut.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
