Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
