how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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