Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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