Will you blow on my dice?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
