dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
