ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
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