Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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