I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
