It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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