It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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