I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
