Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize