You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Girls should come with a carfax report
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
