We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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