Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
