butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
