We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
