do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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