oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
