no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
