FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
